You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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