Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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