these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
