I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
