someone get that fucking seahorse.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
