I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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