You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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