Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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