The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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