Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
