i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize