Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
