You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
