when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Come see our sink grown plant.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
