if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
