hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
