The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
