8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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