home. puking in laundry basket.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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