My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
