remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think my vagina is haunted
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Are we still banned from the library?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
