Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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