Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
