Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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