I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
