Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
