you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
