I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
