if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
