i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The adults are the big ones right?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
