belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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