I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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