piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
