she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
