just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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