that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
