they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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