Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
