Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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