Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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