i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
