just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
