I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
