so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
