All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
