i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
high people should be assigned attendants
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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