either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
