oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
