you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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