Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
