If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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