My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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