DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have feelings that need drinking.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
