so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
