normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize