I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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