Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize