they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
did i just pee glitter
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
