Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
