i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
