You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
