I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
